My present moment

As I sit here writing this. I munch on my fruit parfait. I can taste all the fresh strawberries, blueberries and granola. Its so soothing and relaxing. For once I don't have to share.Thats the best part of all. Its the end of the week. As we know it! Reflecting on the week that has past. Looking back it seems so far away. The days blurred into another.  We took in many emotions this week. The feeling of the sun was amazing one day. We got a glimpse of spring. A mini new england heat wave in the mist of this heavy winter air.  We felt the emotion of exhaustion. Our daughter as cute as she can be has became a mommas girl. She wants to be with me at all times. She is sucking the energy out of me on a daily basis. She loves the comfort of my voice and the touch of my embrace. I tip toe around the house at night time, like a teenager sneaking out of the house. She can feel my presence at anytime. As much as I love and dearly appreciate the love she has for me. I'm hoping these days are short lived. Its a suffocation itself. Ever try to do anything with a little person clinging to you at all times? Yea it can take a lot of energy out of you. We felt the emotion of excitement ! Took in some new adventures and explored each day. As a mother of young kids . Ive learned that the imagination can be the greatest gift you give your child. Each day I came up with a new adventure. A day filled with new thoughts and knowledge to make them think.

We felt a lot of great emotions. We as in my family, my team. The people who I share my days and nights with. The beings that I love with my heart and let them fill up my soul. We means so much more to me that just a word. Its speaking existence into the world. There is always an I but so much more when there is a we. A week has past and we built a strong bond. We laughed we listened and we  reminisced. 

Most of all this week I got time to myself . A rare moment . Time slowed down. I felt my heart beat and could feel my own emotions. It was amazing. Something that has become so rare. That has become so distance. Was here. I felt alive. I had a moment of clarity. All day Saturday I was with my mini me. No boys just us. We bonded and she held on to me like i was her favorite teddy bear. We laid in bed at one point and curled up under the plush white comforter. We watched a movie called "being flynn" It sucked us both in. I felt all the emotions of the movie. It was like a glimpse of my past, present and future. The movie summed up my parents . I was moved. As my mini me curled under my arm. We both melted into each other. In the movie one sentence stuck out. The father was an angry man. He was very aggressive and bitter. He turned around after yelling at his grown son. Said the words " you are not me nor your mother." I made you but you are not me. My heart fluttered. It was words that spoke to my heart. It may of not been from my own parents. But it was what my soul needed to hear. My week was made.

To add to our days we added some new plants and new frames  around the house. To speak new life into our place of peace. I love bringing nature inside and placing memories in frames. Of happy times to keep the spirit of the house upbeat. My spouse doesn't truly understand the meaning behind it just yet. But to me I know that I'm building a home that has great energy and life in it. I'm doing something that I was never taught. At this moment I am going to pat myself on the back. For I am proud of who I am and who I am becoming. This week has been written and memories were made. Life was lived!

When I stop I notice that my muscles are tender but sore.
This week has brought many workouts and less carbs.
My body is awaken.
And tired all at the same time.
my eyes burn.
They want to rest and drift away to a dreamland near by.
I feel the cool air of the winter beneath my socks.
Creeping in .
Thoughts of my warm cozy blanket and soft pillow arise.
I feel the end of the day approaching.
The night has arrived and is very welcoming.
The sounds of the tv playing and light typing .
My mind is settling .
Then awakening all over again.
It wants to rest. To feel the freedom of drifting away.
while my tiny hands type away.
 I take a sip of cold water .
as it glides down my insides I feel the jolt of surprise.
The coldness feels alive.
In the distance I hear fussing.
my mind wants to drift away.
But the time is not always mine to do so.
Oh mr. sandman I know that you are near.
I know you have many journeys awaiting.
Until we meet .
I will feel the motions of my mind wanting to drift away.
until we meet .