Grateful at work

My job?

Where do I begin? The list is long and endless. I'm always on call and even at times when I feel like I don't have any energy to go on.  But when this happens my bosses always seem to find ways to revise me. With their bright smiles. My little bosses command a lot from me. I am always on call. Never have sick days and at the end of the week I don't get the honor of a paycheck. Or the option to clock out. I take them out for adventures and we explore the grandest things on a daily basis. They bless me with expanding my horizon. By opening my eyes to the simplicity of life. 

I hold many positions. I am a cook, dry cleaner, maid, personal shopper, stylist, manager, boss, nurse, cab driver, host, party planner, spouse,Photographer, business owner, referee and the list goes on. I take pride in each hat I wear. The great thing about my job is that my days are never the same. I always have to stay in the state of being. While having things planned out. I also find that I know when to let plans fall apart so others can fall into place. I mean how wonderful is it to see my little bosses smile from ear to ear and giggle out loud . It echoes tingles up my body. A sense of fulfillment. Bringing joy to them and slightly remembering that these moments are precious memories being made. That it is not just a day of rushing for the hours to pass by. But letting the joys of the days consume you. For my job as a mom. Is to not only be there for them. But to be the guider. So they have memories that build them up and when times are rough for them I give them a sense of comfort. For my job is not so simple. It is not something that you can truly explain into exact words at times. But I will try to bring you a vision of how my job is.

Imagine. Going your days ,your nights and your weeks. Being three of you. Then multiply that by infinity. Its a feeling of being stretched to your greatest limits. Then a slight reminder will always stumble upon you reminding you. That you are something super. That what you are doing is grand. Its not something that someone may compliment you on. Nor something that you will get an award on. A raise? not in dollar form. But it gives you a sense of knowing that what you are doing is something beyond anything more that you can imagine. A feeling of knowing that you are in need. That you can not just give up. That you are 100 needed every moment of the day. You are not only a purpose of your life. But you are a purpose of others lives. I find many joys and sorrows in motherhood. At times that title gets little recognition. In a day that having it all means going to your 9-5 job and sending your kids to be raised by others. We took the chance of doing it the way that we found was best. I don't have a 9-5 job. My job is 24/7. And 99 percent of the time I would not change it.

The other percent of the time . I manage our photography business. Which brings me great joy.  I can go on an on about that but my pictures mostly speak for themselves.

Poem


I came here to show you how the light shines
for this thing called photography is all due in time.

I've pushed and pulled at all my hearts desires
for it is what my soul desires.

you wanna know my name?
its going to be in bright lights soon.

Making people shine .
in a photo ever so Divine

you wanna know my name?
its going to be in bright lights soon.

Showing you what I have
giving you all that I got

Cause its my time to shine.

You wanna know my name?
Its going to be in bright lights soon.

I'm determined and focusing in..
watch out world

Your going to know my name
lights camera actions

I have arrived.

Life in the future

It's early afternoon on a sunny spring day in the city. I am sitting in our photography studio. Looking around the room I feel a sense of joy. The light coming in from the large floor to ceiling windows are bringing such amazing light and a spring breeze into the room. That it is bringing such a sense of peace to my soul. Surrounded by great energy. Clean lines and creative artwork fills the space just right. I admire where I am. How far we have come and how successful our business is. As I sit in my soft white leather desk chair. I take in all the feelings. I look down at my clear glass desk and get a glance at our family photo. In a frame. It surrounds everything amazing. Our little family our kids and  a dog. (I finally agreed ) to get a dog. As long as our house had a fence and a yard. We lucked out with the house. I mean who gets a yard and a fence in the  city? Not many but we did. A great fit for our family. The kids school is a few blocks away. So I walk them into school in the morning on the way to the office. Our days are filled with activities. We finally found a balance at life. It took awhile to get here but making it was worth all of the wait. Sometimes I feel like I am daydreaming. Then n realize this is my life. This is now. This is pretty amazing. Ok enough of me. I have to get ready for our clients. Today we are doing a magazine spread. Time to do what we love.

The days have become hectic and work is on overflow now. My sisters realize that things are busy in my life right now. So they convince me that we need to take a  vacation. To reset our minds and get a sense of balance again. We sit on the phone and talk about where to go. They want to go to Texas. I seem to want more. I hang up the phone and lay there in our bed late at night. Listening to the mister toss an turn beside me. The window in our bedroom is slightly open. I can hear the cars going by and college students loudly talking outside. The bars must of just let out near by. I open up my iPad. To see my screensaver. A old vision board we made for class awhile ago. I sit and look at it. I always dreamt of going to Greece. To roam the beauties of the world. What ever stopped me? The fear of flying? The fear of getting sick over seas? The fear? Why was I fearing something so strongly? I decided to longer have this fear. I was going to book our trip. The week before our trip. I came down with a cold. My body was achy . My throat was sore and I was nervous all over again to make that flight. The day arrived and we boarded the flight. Leaving behind my little family. I was finally going on my dream vacation. We landed hours later. As we got to our villa. It was everything and more that I ever dreamt of. My soul was on a natural high. Beauty everywhere. Beauty that words could not describe. The food was so fresh and feed our bodies so well. By the end of our trip . I took a walk around the town we were staying at alone. As walking down the white stone stairs I slipped and fell. My leg felt to sore to walk on it. And my phone had no reception. I started to feel fear overcome me. How was I suppose to get ready to get on a plane in a few hours. When I was stuck. With no one to contact. I was scared and letting it start to take over me. All the fears have come back.

I must of passed out on those steps. I woke up to a man dressed in linen cloth pants and a white tank top. He had a sun kissed tan and combed back black curls. There was something about him that was so peaceful and I was taken in by it. I no longer had felt the fears I was feeling. His voice was soothing and he walked with grace. He was healing my leg with his tender touch.he helped me up and I could no longer feel any pain. We walked to a small cafe and sat outside and sipped on fresh smoothies. As he spoke of the waterfront living of this small Greece town. I stopped and looked around. Why was I leaving something so beautiful? This whole time I thought I was living my dream of living in the city. When all along the city was just a stepping stone. I wanted to feel this sense of peace everyday. To live a life a different way. In a new place. I always dreamt of coming to. It was no longer a dream it was a pull to bring me to the place I was meant to be. As I got back to our villa. I talked with my sisters. They thought I was crazy and said lets go. As we boarded the plane back home. I looked back at the clear blue sea and white buildings filling the town. As we got higher in the air. I felt a sense of knowing were I finally belonged. Fast forward a few months later. Our studio in the city is doing great. We hired more employees and now reside in Greece for half of the year. We fly back in the fall and enjoy both sides of the world.the kids love swimming in the ocean. Then coming home to white Christmas with our extended families. In Greece we opened up a small cafe where we have our photography hanging all around. I always thought our studio was amazing but I could of never imagined something as grand as this. I have to go now. It's lunch time in the town and wears all off to go enjoy a picnic. Life is grand.

poem

you magically appeared from a dream so distant
everything seemed to come together in a instant

I could never imagine something ever so bright
something that could be what i needed in life

like a cold summer breeze
you refreshed my soul

Touched me to the core of my existence

I felt alive in so many ways i never knew grace
could arrive so pleasantly

for a moment  always thought that you were a distance thought
a vision on the horizon that I could never reach

but the wind blew and you arrived at shore.
you swept me off my feet with all the mighty force.

you let down my fears and past sorrows
for you reminded me about my tomorrows

the days of sunshine and bitter sweetness
something i was ready to witness

you once stole me of my restless nights
wondering what tomorrow would bring

I realized now that was all an imaginary thing

you swept like the breeze you are and filled up my soul
with grace so mighty  .

I feel it in myself. I feel what I was yearn to be.

For Grace is now upon me.

Looking into the crystal ball

Looking into the crystal ball

The sun shines bright upon our days.
Laughter in the air.
Not a dark cloud near.

Fear is a distant memory.
For we leaped into our destiny.

At once I thought it would get the best of me.

I blossomed into more I ever thought I could be.
A flower in the meadow of simple seeds.

Those seeds were being nourished ,cared for and tended to.
For now I see the beauty in you.

The beauty that shines ever so bright.
The beginnings of a wonderful life.

Days of great purpose
Nights of great love.

Who would of known it all started with a tug.

Passion

Life is so much better when you discover your passion. A sensation of joy in all that you do. My passion started at a young age. In the mist of chaos. I always enjoyed order. Neatness and creating a sense of vision in a location. By finding the beauty around any location. On car rides I would look out the window and take in all the motions of people walking . The gestures in the newscast faces as the 10 o'clock news came on. The way they talked. I would vision a snapshot in my head. A photogenic memory. Was something I always had but never took to notice. I love making memories in photos. For I have found that it is the one thing that never changes. Even when the people in the do. I love photography. Creating a vision. To share with others. Its amazing that I can put what my mind sees into a creative photo. Show the beauty what I see. Without words. Without a single explanation. I can show you all that I see and make you feel an emotion. Within a captured moment.

Along with photography . I truly enjoy interior design. I appreciate all forms of design. But affordable design catches my interests the most. I truly appreciate making a space cozy and beautiful on a sensible budget. For life is about living and making memories.I'd rather money go towards that then expensive items.Not saying that I don't appreciated a well built piece of furniture nor a great fabric. I've just come to realize that not everyone keeps the same style for long. So why not recycle and create a vision on a great budget. I'm known for this at times with my friends. Any time they move they always ask . For simple advice. I truly enjoy it. Yard sales? yes please. I even hosted a yard sale one year and set the items up like a store window. Items sold great and people appreciated the visions. A perfect spring day. In my vision is my camera in tow. Walking amounts boutiques and taking in all the displays . Grabbing a light lunch and walking around with my love. ( that is very rare thou.) It is however good to dream. With kids in the walk. Its more of a mom. mom. mom. mom. Rather than a quite walk .

I currently have the joy of doing one of my deep passions for a living. I am a professional photographer. I get the pleasure of expresses a moment in a photo. And being able to share it. Its an amazing feeling when clients love your work. Just last week one of my shoots I sent a sample photo of the day to my client. She said right when she opened the file she cried. I made  her feel such a strong emotion without even saying a word. One day I dream of working for a large firm. TJX I always admired. Flying around the world. To do advertisement shoots . To see my work on a large print. Yea that would be pretty amazing. I'd say.

I'm learning ways to develop a connection with larger firms. I do volunteer work. Photograph events for non profit organizations. As well as take classes to put myself in the creative environment. Because doors can open at anytime. Why not be in a place where networking in strong.

I'm in the current stage of finding a mentor. A person who can guide me in the field to greater things. I  reached out to a few photographers in the industry. I will continue till I come across the right fit.

I'd love to work for a corporation that shows woman as is. In a non touched up form. Not in a way that it doesn't flatter them. But a sense of natural beauty. Most of my shoots I try to capture the beauty from the shoot within the time of the picture being taken. Photo shop is great and all. But not everyone needs to look like they are perfect at all times. I'd love to show beauty without being too perfect. Because this world at times can be in a bubble. Id love to pop it. Bring it back to a time where carefree beauty and smiles were contagious .

You make my heart flutter.
From beginning to end.
You make me feel like
I'm ten all over again.

You make my mind wander
to a place of creative imagination.
You always make me ponder .
You put me in the greatest situations.

You do ever so much.
With little realization.
That you are my love.
In every day visions .

My vision of a beautiful creation.
A visible sensation.

You are my everything for you are my hearts desire.
You light the fire in my soul.

I'm loving the way that everything is unfolding.
You are my eyes, heart and soul.

You capture everything and make time stand still.

For you are my passion .

And for that I am forever alive within you.